Oculus Innocuous: Put It On Your Face

So there’s this thing, the Oculus Rift, right? It’s great: it fits on your face and it covers your eyes and it provides a 110 degree field of view and it’s covered in Gabe Newell’s slobber (and probably a bit of his phlegm which is probably pregnant with some of that excess cholesterol and fat) and most importantly it’s new. It’s so new that it must be good. And it must be so good that no one seems to be taking a step back and asking the real question: how the fuck are we going to move around like it’s the 3^rd dimension?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The main conceit of the Oculus Rift is that it’s what Virtual Reality should be, a conceit that almost implies that life as it is isn’t what it should be because it doesn’t contain Virtual Reality technology that’s good enough which is a hard fact to swallow (and a hard act to follow) when presented with a product and an idea that looks like a pair of Oakley’s circa 1992 covered in black spraypaint and still controlled by a mouse and keyboard. Also, Gabe Newell is notorious for never finishing anything.

And seriously, this is my problem with new tech most of the time: it’s only one part of the idea, guys. The Oculus looks like it can deliver on its “step into the game! Feel like you’re there! Watch out for that guy behind you! OH MY GOD IT’S SO REAL” promises, but it doesn’t address the equally pressing issue of turning the fuck around and thrusting a deadly deadly katana into that guy behind you in an equally “OH MY GOD IT’S SO REAL” kind of way. And that’s a bit sad.

What’s not as sad is that some other group is working on exactly that. That’s cool.