10 Other Things You Could Spend $30 on Instead of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

$30 certainly doesn’t go as far as it used to. At only half a day’s minimum wage pay, the amount isn’t enough to cover the cable bill or a week’s worth of groceries, let alone a full tank of gas or a week’s worth of public transportation. Fortunately, $30 will still get you one to two hours worth of Metal Gear Solid. Released earlier this week, Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes has been widely praised by critics despite its much maligned brevity.

But while three Alexander Hamiltons isn’t enough to paint the town red, and only just barely enough to afford Ground Zeroes (assuming you live somewhere without sales tax), this paltry sum will still let you purchase a number of other things. What follows is a brief and by no means exhaustive list of everything else you could buy instead of Ground Zeroes.

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1.            The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition ($23.20) and “25 Classical Favorites,” including greatest hits from Johann Sebastian Bach and Frederic Chopin ($6.44).

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2.            Two consecutive days of access to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, home to great works like Claude Monet’s “The Japanese Footbridge and the Water Lily Pool, Giverny,” and Andy Warhol’s “Brillo Boxes” ($20), plus a cup of coffee and a Bonnie & Clyde sandwich from the nearby Mugshots Coffeehouse ($9.50).

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3.            The current issues of: Harper’s, Five Out of Ten, Edge, and The Believer ($5, $6, $5, $12).

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4.            Every Day Is for the Thief by Teju Cole ($17.50), Phantogram’s newest album “Voices” ($9), and a G2 Pilot pen to write in the margins of both ($3.50).

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5.            The first volumes of: Brian K. Vaughan’s Saga, Matt Kindt’s Mind MGMT, and Matt Fraction’s Sex Criminals ($6, $15, $9).

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6.            Stolzle Glencairn Whiskey Glass ($7.50) and a 750ml bottle of Elijah Craig 12-Year-Old Small Batch Bourbon ($22).

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7.            One month subscriptions to: GameFly’s one out at a time disc rentals, Netflix streaming for shows like “Breaking Bad,” “House of Cards,” and “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” and Spotify Unlimited featuring millions of songs but mostly Prince’s “The Hits” volumes 1 and 2 ($16, $8, $5).

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8.            Four of last year’s Best Picture nominees (Blue Jasmine, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, All is Lost) watched online and one ticket for Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel ($5 each, $10).

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9.            Risk of Rain, FTL: Faster than Light, and Terraria or several other combinations of Steam games (like the original Thief, Deus Ex, and Dragon Age: Origins) ($10, $10, $10).

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10.          Metal Gear Solid HD Collection, used, either for PS3 or Xbox 360, which includes Metal Gear Solid 2, 3, and Peace Walker ($29.50).

  • Mike Potts

    Props for the inclusion of Saga. Anything with Saga in it is automatically better than it was without Saga in it.